Jealousy
by vericus
Summary: G1, slash - Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are surprised to find Prowl has a fanclub. Jazz just wants it gone.
1. Plushie

**Author's Note:** Totally inspired by one of vejiraziel's pictures posted on the LiveJournal prowlxjazz community. Originally intended to be a one-shot, but kind of grew as Prowl demanded revenge.

**- Jealousy, Part 1 : Plushie -**

"Wait, so you're saying Prowl actually has his own fanclub?" Sideswipe asked the human girl, who'd introduced herself as Liz, in disbelief, and she nodded solemnly. "But...I thought you said most of the Autobots besides Bumblebee, Sunny and I didn't have a big enough following to rate their own fanclubs?"

"Prowl's one of the other few." Liz replied cheerfully.

"Why?" Sideswipe asked in confusion. "I mean, he's...well, he's Prowl. No sense of humour, more logic chips than should be allowed, and more boring than watching paint dry. He sits in his quarters and reads about _chess strategies_ on his time off, for Primus' sake."

"I'm not exactly sure, myself - I'm not a member." Liz replied honestly, then straightened and peered over the heads of the surrounding people, all there for the annual Autobot fanclub meeting (which was the only fanclub meeting Prime authorized any of the Autobots to actually go to, to avoid any unfortunate incidents with Decepticons). She looked around for several minutes before apparently spotting who she was looking for, and began waving furiously. "Sasha! Over here!" Sideswipe followed Liz's gaze curiously and found a blond girl heading in their direction. "Sasha's a member of Prowl's fanclub, she should be able to explain to you."

"I'm not sure I want to know, actually." Sideswipe mused, though it was too late now, he knew. Like the curious cat, however, he couldn't help but want to know - or want to share. "Oi, Sunstreaker! Get over here!" he called out to his twin, and the yellow Autobot looked up with irritation from where he was chatting with some of the twins' fanclub, but came as asked, arriving at about the same time as Sasha.

"What is it, Sides?" Sunstreaker asked, sounding annoyed.

"Sasha here...is a member of Prowl's fanclub." Sideswipe pronounced delicately. Sunstreaker just looked at Sideswipe blankly for a moment, as if to say 'that's it?' Mentally, Sideswipe counted to three, and right on cue, Sunstreaker jerked in surprise, and stared down at the human.

"Prowl has a fanclub?" he blurted out.

"Oh yes, it's actually the fourth largest." Sasha replied proudly, then grabbed something on her chest and directed it upward for them to see. "We even have buttons." Sideswipe and Sunstreaker both stared at the button - it was a photograph of Prowl's upper body, his usual flat expression in place, with the words 'OFFICIAL PROWL FAN' written underneath in red.

"Sideswipe doesn't seem to understand what you all see in Prowl, so I figured you'd be best to explain." Liz explained helpfully to Sasha.

"Of course, I'd be happy to." Sasha replied with a smile, and Sunstreaker shot Sideswipe an alarmed look, obviously wondering just what the red warrior had gotten him into. "It's really a lot of things, and it's different for each person, but there are some basic things that are common to everyone, same as with you two and your fanclubs." The twins shared a horrified look as Sasha settled into a lecturing tone, and their horror only grew as the girl described how Prowl attracted many of those going into law enforcement, thanks to his alt mode, and others who just liked men in uniform (never mind that the design of a police car wasn't actually a uniform), and some admired his mental abilities. For the protection of his own mental state, Sideswipe shut off his audios when she started going on about people with repressed emotions being more passionate in bed - it wasn't even worth telling her that A) Prowl was emphatically not available, and B) not of a compatible species. On and on Sasha went, ignoring Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's horrified expressions, until finally Liz, amused, cut her off, and with a shared mental sigh of relief, the twins turned their audios back on.

"Sorry, I guess all of us in the club are just a little passionate when it comes to our chosen 'Bot." Sasha had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "We usually have to defend ourselves to a lot of people."

"Uh - yes, I imagine you would." Sideswipe said carefully. Neither he nor Sunstreaker wanted to touch the 'passionate' comment.

"Of course, it doesn't help that most of us have never actually met him. We see him on TV, read about him, hear about him from other Autobots, but that's about it." Sasha said, they smiled a little wryly. "Sort of makes our liking him a little absurd, but, well, we humans aren't exactly logical. Even if Prowl is."

"This is true." Sideswipe agreed a little more emphatically than he'd intended.

"We've been thinking of sending him something to let him know the club exists, though." Sasha continued conversationally. "One of the other girls, Tara, was talking about making a human-sized plushie of him to send, along with a letter or a card or something. We weren't quite sure if he'd appreciate it, though - do you think he would?" Sideswipe glanced over at Sunstreaker, who absolved himself of answering the question with a jerk of his head. Uncertain, Sideswipe turned back to Sasha and considered - he doubted Prowl would find much use for a plushie of himself, to be honest. But, on the other hand, the look on Prowl's face when he got it would probably be quite hilarious.

"You'd be surprised." Sideswipe offered. "His office has been gaining decorations lately - he might consider it a nice addition." Alright, so the decorations were mostly put there by Jazz, and only barely tolerated by Prowl, but the thought of getting sent to Prowl's office for getting into trouble again and finding a human-sized Prowl plushie sitting on the corner of the desk or something was strangely appealing to Sideswipe's sense of humour.

"You really think he'd like it?" Sasha asked, suddenly beaming up at Sideswipe, and the red warrior's optics widened slightly in alarm, wondering where Prowl liking the plushie had come into it.

"Ah, well, he'll appreciate the thought if nothing else." Sideswipe back-pedaled quickly.

"Tara will be so glad to hear - she's been holding off because she figured it was just creepy to make it for herself, but it'd also be kind of a challenge, and her creative side is just itching to try it, so -" Sideswipe grimaced internally as Sasha was set off again. Sunstreaker gave Sideswipe a mild glare, clearly saying 'now look what you did!' Fortunately, Liz was still there to rescue them, and Sasha was soon quieted, saying goodbye before heading off to find this Tara girl. The twins thanked Liz profusely, but she laughed it off, saying that she'd had experience in 'rescuing' people from the 'Prowl fanatics'. They thanked her anyways, and then continued on with their meeting and talking with the various members of the fan club. Both Autobots now took special notice of the buttons the humans wore, and found an alarming number of the 'OFFICIAL PROWL FAN' ones.

_::I wonder how Jazz will react to Prowl having a fanclub.::_ Sunstreaker mused later, after the meeting was over, and he and Sideswipe were heading back to the Ark.

_::Probably not too well.::_ Sideswipe replied. _::Remember how jealous he got when Prowl was talking with those femmes before we left Cybertron?::_

_::Yeah, Ironhide had to stick Jazz in the brig until launch time.::_ Sunstreaker said with a snicker.

_::And Prowl ended up having to apologize to the femme for Jazz's behavior, since he wouldn't.::_ Sideswipe said with a smirk.

_::Makes me hope that Jazz never comes across someone wearing one of those buttons.::_ Sunstreaker added. Sideswipe agreed, and the two continued in silence for a moment before something suddenly occurred to Sideswipe, and he swore, almost swerving off the road. _::Don't you know how to drive, you slagging idiot?::_ Sunstreaker growled, having to swerve himself to avoid hitting his twin. _::What's the matter with you?::_

_::I was thinking of the look on Prowl's face when I told that girl he might not mind a plushie of himself. I didn't even think about Jazz.::_ Sideswipe said carefully as he straightened himself out. There was a pause from Sunstreaker.

_::Well, at least seeing Jazz flip out should be entertaining.::_ Sunstreaker mused after a few moments, and Sideswipe had to snicker in agreement.

---

Not knowing how long it would take the humans to make the plushie, let alone how long it would take it to get to the Ark via the human postal service, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe took to volunteering for mail duty, earning themselves odd looks and odder comments. After all, going to the fanclub meeting had been part of a punishment, even if the twins had ended up enjoying it. Despite their efforts, however, it was Ironhide who was delivering the mail the day the plushie came. The twins almost missed seeing the delivery, but fortunately, Red Alert's rants about even _Prowl_ now getting packages from unauthorized sources was loud enough for them to hear through his office door as they walked past. So, for once, they headed towards Prowl's office with gleeful looks on their faces, and peeked in through the open door to find Prowl just beginning to unwrap the package. Even better, Jazz had apparently been visiting when Ironhide had showed up, and the saboteur was already looking a little twitchy. Ironhide had also stuck around, seemingly from curiosity about what was in the package, though he kept glancing at Jazz with amusement.

"What..." Prowl trailed off, his confusion evident, as he finally got into the box and saw the contents.

"What is it?" Jazz asked, trying to peer into the box, but unable to see past the flaps.

"It's...ah..." Prowl frowned, seemingly unable to come up with a description, and instead, lifted the item out of the box. Sure enough, as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had expected, it was a large plushie of Prowl, made big enough that it looked about the same size in Prowl's hand as a normal plushie looked in a human hand. Jazz and Ironhide both stared at the plushie for a few moments, and then Ironhide laughed.

"Seems like yah got some fans, Prowl." he said with amusement.

"Apparently?" Prowl sounded completely bewildered, staring at the plushie in his hand, and then his optics caught on something else inside the box. He reached in with his free hand and pulled out a large-ish piece of paper with writing on it. His confusion seemed to grow as he read it.

"What's it say?" Jazz asked casually.

"It's apparently from my fanclub." Prowl replied absently, frowning as he continued to read - or perhaps re-read it.

"Your _what?_" Jazz asked, and Prowl wasn't the only one to hear the dangerous tone in the saboteur's voice.

"Jazz, it's just a fanclub." Prowl said, looking up from the letter to eye his bonded.

"Of course it is." Jazz said with a clearly fake smile, then reached for the letter. Prowl jerked it out of the saboteur's reach, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Jazz..." he said warningly.

"I just want to see what it says." Jazz said innocently.

"I don't think so." Prowl said, subspacing the letter. Jazz's smile dropped into a frown. "You can have this, though." Prowl handed Jazz the plushie, and the confused look returned for a moment, "What exactly I'm supposed to do with a plushie of myself, I don't know."

"Aw, they probably jus' wanted to show yah their appreciation." Ironhide said with a grin.

"Their very...detailed...appreciation..." Jazz said, already closely inspecting the plushie, and Prowl gave the saboteur an odd look.

"Jazz," he said, and the saboteur looked up with an inquisitive 'hm?' "They're human."

"I know."

"I'm bonded to you."

"I know."

"I am unlikely to meet any of them, ever."

"Uh-huh. Hey, want me to get rid of the box for you?" Jazz asked. Prowl frowned, optics sliding over to the box. It seemed that Jazz realized the moment Prowl figured out why the saboteur wanted to box, as the tactician abruptly snatched it away and slipped it into his subspace, even as Jazz made a grab for it. Prowl arched an optic ridge at the now pouting Jazz.

"Don't you have a fanclub, as well?" Prowl said pointedly, then turned to say something to Ironhide, only to spot Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. "You two!" Prowl scowled. "I should have known."

"Us what?" Sideswipe asked innocently. "We were just passing by and saw the plushie."

"You were also the two I sent to the annual Autobot fanclub meeting." Prowl said, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, thanks for that. It was rather creepy, especially with all the members of your fanclub running around." Sunstreaker said with some annoyance, and Jazz visibly tensed.

"Did you know they have buttons?" Sideswipe couldn't help but add with a smirk.

"Enough!" Prowl said with a scowl, also having noticed Jazz's tenseness, and pointed out the door. "Get out of my office."

"Can we have a look at the plushie before we go?" Sideswipe asked with a grin.

"Not in my office. Out!" Prowl replied, scowl deepening.

"Awww..." Sideswipe said with mock disappointment, then he and Sunstreaker quickly turned and fled when Prowl made a move in their direction. They weren't even at the end of the hallway by the time Jazz caught up with them.

"So, Sunny, Sides..." Jazz said casually, the effect totally ruined by the death grip he had on the plushie in his hand.

"Yes Jazz?" Sideswipe asked innocently.

"You wouldn't happen to know how to get in touch with Prowl's fanclub, wouldja?" Jazz asked with a disarming grin.

"Pictures and alibis." Sideswipe replied promptly.

"Yeah yeah, I never heard it from you, this conversation didn't happen, the pictures will be waiting in your quarters a few days from now." Jazz said impatiently. "Names. Addresses. Now."

"Of course, Jazz." Sideswipe with a broad grin.

---

On a quiet residential street in a small town in Oregon, a blond-haired girl named Tara was walking home, listening to her walkman. when a car cut her off as she crossed a street. She swore appropriately, only to pause when she realized not only that the black and white Porsche was not moving, but that there seemed to be a giant plushie in the driver's seat. Tara blinked as she recognized the plushie, and opened her mouth to say something, when suddenly the driver's door opened, and the whole car shifted in her direction, sending the plushie tumbling onto the pavement. Then the driver's door slammed shut and the Porsche sped off with a squeal of its tires.

Frowning, Tara stared after it, then cautiously approached the plushie. It was exactly as she remembered making it, save for the addition of a sign around the neck, stating: 'MINE. NOT YOURS. BACK OFF.' Tara grinned with no little amusement as she read it, glancing after the Porsche.

"Somebody has jealousy issues." she said dryly, then hit 'play' on her walkman again and picked up the plushie, continuing on her way home. As she went, she idly wondered if, once she showed the returned plushie and sign to them, the members of Autobot Jazz's fanclub would finally admit that he was taken and stop drooling over him.

**- FINIS -**


	2. Vice Versa

**- Jealousy, Part 2 : Vice Versa -**

Prowl was angry. Most people, most mechs, wouldn't have noticed it. Those in the Ark, however, had spent years now in close proximity to Prowl, and, thanks to the twins, had learned how to tell when the usually unemotional tactician was royally fragged off. The primary sign was that when he spoke - he was more concise, and even more to-the-point than normal, when he was angry. The other major sign were his door wings - they flared out behind him like some animals used manes, and became hyper-sensitive. He would feel the slightest touch or breeze across them, and a firm grasp on them when Prowl was in that state, according to Jazz, made the tactician's knees buckle. Which was, actually, quite handy all things considered, since Prowl so rarely got angry that when he finally succumbed, the subject of his ire could end up in Ratchet's med bay, condition depending on how quickly Jazz got to Prowl when he finally snapped.

Of course, this had led to the quick determination that, should Prowl ever begin to show these signs, whoever it was that had gotten him angry had better start apologizing _right now_. It was an unspoken rule, especially since the guilt-ridden Prowl that followed after whoever he had sent to med bay had recovered just creeped everyone out. And after Prowl had recovered, one had to deal with Jazz, who came up with much more...creative and less obvious ways to remind one to never, ever frag off Prowl - or at least apologize immediately if you did.

Unfortunately, all this learning how to deal with an angry Prowl was not help any of the Ark's crew in the current situation. Never before had this particular mech angered Prowl - honestly, most of the crew had thought it impossible for Prowl to get angry at him. But there it was, plain as day - Prowl was completely and utterly fragged off...at Jazz. Nobody was quite sure what to do now that the one that usually calmed Prowl down when he was angry was the one Prowl was angry _with_. Actually, nobody was even quite sure what Jazz had done in the first place. And Jazz, for once in his life, didn't seem to notice that his mate was angry. So Prowl was left to simmer, setting the entire Ark on edge, while Jazz continued as if nothing were wrong.

"...and you wouldn't believe some of the questions they come up with!" Jazz was doing a good imitation of Bluestreak as he and Prowl walked through the Ark. The normally observant saboteur was oblivious to the fact that not only was his babbling unwanted, but that mechs seeing the two of them coming tended to quickly find another route to get to their destination. "For all that Spike and Carly are curious about Cybertron, they seem to ask mostly about our construction and the war. These girls and guys ask about all the other stuff - culture, music, even architecture! A few of them actually got up the nerve to ask about bonding and sparklings, and man, was _that_ an awkward conversation -" Jazz stopped abruptly as Prowl whirled to face him, his entire body tense as he leveled a Class A Death Glare on the saboteur. "...eep? What's up, Prowl?"

"Apparently my fanclub." Prowl replied flatly, and Jazz frowned lightly.

"What?" Jazz asked.

"You have done nothing but talk about the humans in my fanclub for the past week. Tell me, what happened to your jealousy over the fact that I even _had_ fans?" Prowl snapped.

"Oh, that." Jazz looked a little sheepish. "Yeah, um, I've been meaning to apologize about that. I mean, I know they were no threat, and yeah, I know you're bonded to me. I just, I dunno, it threw me. But then one of them - honestly, I don't know how -" the look Jazz gave Prowl was too innocent to be real, "Figured out that we were 'in a relationship', as she put it at the time, and I dunno, I guess it was just the fact that they _knew_ you were off limits that made me get over it all. Plus they really are intelligent - I don't know how you did it, getting all the smart fans - most of mine are, well...there's smart ones, but the majority of them are kinda young and immature."

"Perhaps because _you_ are immature." Prowl snapped, and Jazz stared at his mate for a moment.

"Now, that was uncalled for." he said finally, frowning. "I may enjoy joking around sometimes, but I'm not immature." Prowl snorted in disbelief. "Prowl, man, what's the matter with you?" Jazz sounded honestly confused, and that was probably the only reason Prowl didn't attack him then and there.

"You and my fanclub are the matter with me." Prowl snarled instead, raising a hand to point accusingly at the saboteur. "You get jealous over the fact that I have a fanclub, despite the fact that I didn't even know it, and then you take off for a few days, only to return completely over your jealousy. In fact, not only are you over your jealousy, but you're _best friends_ with my fans all of the sudden. You talk with at least one of them _every day_ over the communications channels, Red Alert has come to me _twice_ about your increase in mail, many of which are packages from - guess who? - members of my fanclub. I wake up in the morning, and you're already up, reading and replying letters from them. I get off shift and go to spend time with you, and you talk about my fanclub the entire time. We go to recharge, and you're making plans for going to meet some of them! Do you see a problem yet?!"

Over the course of his rant, Prowl had stalked towards Jazz, forcing the saboteur to back up until he was pressed back against the wall, and now the tactician was practically looming over his mate, coming within millimeters of touching him, but purposefully not. His door wings were drawn up and flared out so that they framed his head, and he spoke in a cross between a hiss and a growl. The entirety of his attention, and anger, was focused on Jazz, who was staring at him with wide optics, honestly scared of the tactician for the first time in his life. Neither of them noticed when Huffer turned into the hallway they were in, took one look and turned and fled, heading for the med bay to let Ratchet know that Prowl had finally snapped.

"Uh - well, maybe -" Jazz got no farther as Prowl snarled, hands jerking upwards as if going to choke Jazz, and the saboteur flinched. That, more than anything, seemed to make Prowl aware of what he was doing, and his face smoothed into a neutral expression as he stepped back. Saboteur and tactician regarded one another warily.

"Perhaps I shall just have to take matters into my own hands." Prowl said, then turned and left just as Huffer returned with Ratchet. Both seemed surprised to find Jazz in one piece, but Jazz didn't explain how he'd escaped, instead grimacing and heading off after his bondmate, intending to sort this out before humans ended up on the wrong end of his mate's anger.

Unfortunately, Prowl had locked himself in his office, and refused to even respond to Jazz. He let Optimus Prime in when the commander requested it, but shut the door in Jazz's face. Whatever Optimus and Prowl talked about inside the tactician's office was said to quietly for Jazz to eavesdrop on through the door, and Red Alert refused to let him listen in via the security system. So Jazz eventually just grabbed two cubes of energon from the rec room and returned to his and Prowl's quarters to wait for his mate's return.

---

Jazz came slowly out of recharge the next morning, aware of an arm draped over his waist and the quiet hum of somebody else's systems running beside him. It took him a moment to realize what this meant, and then he snapped on his optics hurriedly and turned to stare at Prowl, lying next to him on the recharge berth. Then, confused, Jazz looked over Prowl to the rest of the room - the last thing the saboteur could remember was sitting at the desk, still waiting for Prowl to return, even though it was past midnight. He'd been tired - he must have slipped into recharge - but if he had, how in Primus' name had he ended up on the berth, with Prowl snuggled up next to him? Prowl would have had to carry him - he'd done it before, same as Jazz had done it for Prowl - but considering how angry the tactician had been the last time he had seen him, Jazz would have expected to be left in the chair.

Confused, Jazz turned his gaze back to Prowl, trying to figure it all out. He was still trying to come up with an explanation several breems later when Prowl's optics slowly came online, then moved up to meet Jazz's confused ones. The tactician smiled, let out a sound that was suspiciously similar to a purr, and then stretched languidly, arching his body against Jazz's in a very distracting manner, before leaning in to give Jazz a peck on the lips.

"Good morning, Jazz." Yep, that was _definitely_ a purr.

"Good morning, Prowl." Jazz said, suddenly wary. "You seem to be in a good mood."

"I do?" Prowl replied innocently.

"Yes - very." Jazz replied, frowning. "What's up? Last I checked, you were mad at me."

"Would you rather I still was?" Prowl asked, arching an optics ridge.

"No no, I much prefer it when you're not angry with me," Jazz hurried to reassure his mate. "I'm just...a little confused as to why you're not still angry."

"Oh, I had a discussion with Prime, and we sorted out a few things." Prowl said non-chalantly, then pushed himself up and stretched one last time - in an rather provocative manner, in Jazz's opinion - before getting off of the berth and heading to the door, where he flipped on the lights before heading to the desk.

"And what did you sort out?" Jazz asked, still wary, as he too left the berth, following Prowl over to the desk.

"Things." Prowl replied airily, pulling up his schedule on the desk's computer, and for the rest of the morning, that was all Jazz could get out of Prowl. He eventually had to give up when it was time for them to go on duty, but he was still thinking about it. Even if he hadn't been, however, it wouldn't have taken much to realize where, exactly, the announcement from Prime had come from. It had been posted early that morning, just after Prime had gotten up, judging from the time stamp, and was a notification of a new security regulation, boasting, unsurprisingly, both Red Alert and Prowl's full endorsements.

It was a notification that, 'for the safety of the humans' and 'to prevent possible security leaks', no Autobot was to have contact with members of the Autobot fanclub, except at the annual meeting, and then only two representatives chosen by, surprise surprise, _Prowl_ would be allowed to attend. A note at the end let everyone know that a notification had already been sent to the fanclub, and that any questions about the new security measure could be taken up with Optimus Prime himself.

Jazz just stared at the screen for several minutes as he tried to comprehend what he was reading. As it finally sunk in, he couldn't help but laugh slightly before getting up and leaving his office, heading for Prowl's. The tactician's door was, oddly, open when he arrived, and Jazz knew he'd been expected. He stepped inside without knocking, and Prowl glanced up almost instantly, favoring the saboteur with a very definitely smug smile.

"A little bit of overkill, don't you think?" Jazz asked.

"But effective." Prowl replied, smirking.

"Crazy tactician." Jazz said with a shake of his head. In response, Prowl chucked a piece of bristol board at Jazz. Startled, Jazz caught the board before it could bounce off him, and he frowned as he looked down at it, finding it blank. Then he flipped it over, and found the writing on the other side. "Touché." he said wryly to Prowl, who smirked one last time before returning to his work.

"Shut the door on your way out." the tactician said, and Jazz chuckled before heading out, closing the door as asked. Out in the hallway, he paused, then, with a smirk, pulled some tape out of his subspace - one never knew when they'd need tape - and affixed the sign to Prowl's office door. He walked away whistling, the sign on the door boldly stating to everyone that the mech inside was his.

**- FINIS -**


End file.
